well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
My feet surprised me
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