areolas are like halos for boobs.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
