I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Randomize
