She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
