he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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