I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
