he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Randomize
