It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
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