We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Vodka?
Forever.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
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