I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
Alive.
So much puke
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
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