I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
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