It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
