youre lurking in front of me
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
