Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
Sober January is a disaster.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize
