Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(937): View more from Ohio

We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.

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(410): View more from Maryland

she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.

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(585): View more from New York

she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over

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(780): View more from Alberta, CA

A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor

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(952): View more from Minnesota

it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table

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(303): View more from Colorado

His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it

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(918): View more from Oklahoma

Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!

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(716): View more from New York

I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.

(1-716): View more from New York

I demand a full explanation right now.

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(660): View more from Missouri

She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company

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