ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
the liver wants what the liver wants
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
