a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Randomize
