Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
Randomize
