Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
