Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Randomize