remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Randomize