Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
I wish you could order shots online.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize