So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize
