I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize
