We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
