Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Of course I have a pirate flag
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
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