oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
