Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Randomize
