Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Dicks are not precious.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
