It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
