considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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