two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
he fucked my hip out of place.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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