We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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