I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Can Purell be used as lube?
if i died would you start the facebook group?
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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