Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Randomize