The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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