he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Randomize
