drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I just googled if crying burns calories
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
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