your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
if only i could text you this smell
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
it glows. i had to have it.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
