At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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