She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
