All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
