she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
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