If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize