you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Randomize
