and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
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