??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
How's work?
Spinning.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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