this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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