butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
Sext me about skeletons
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Randomize
