Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Randomize
