if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
