what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
