I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
