I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
