we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Randomize
