He asked to "fluff my boner.."
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
did i just pee glitter
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
