I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
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