Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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