She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
I got inside last night via doggy door
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
