i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
