clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Randomize
