No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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