Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Randomize
